The First Snowy Weekend We Get:
Friday, January 23rd, 6:30 PM:
John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)
Man is the Warmest Place to Hide.
John Carpenter's
The Thing is a film version of a
1938 science-fiction story about a shape-shifting alien buried in Antarctic ice for thousands of years, until it's dug up by a team of scientists. And Big Trouble happens.
Carpenter's aim was to create a monster movie with competent, educated protagonists instead of standard screaming co-eds. "The Thing" is tense, smart, claustrophobic, and unbelievably, creatively, and horrifically gory. This movie makes 1979's
Alien look like
My Pretty Pony. "The Thing" is one of the canonical
"Kill It With Fire" trope movies.
My friend Alejandro, who is a
McMurdo Station veteran, tells me that there's a mandatory screening of "The Thing" for new arrivals each year — just before the six-month winter lockdown. Criminey!
You can see the trailer below, which is scary enough. Here's a link to
the full on freak-out gore-fest.
Presented in stunning ANAMORPHIC WIDESCREEN...
Anyhow, I discovered that Swank Motion Pictures in Illinois does indeed have a 16MM print of The Thing. And not only a print, but a "Scope" print, which means that the widescreen image has been compressed into the square space on the film stock. You need a special "scope" lens to widen the image to the correct widescreen format -- and now I own one! Thanks to Ted the Fiddler, projectionist from the
Colonial Theater in Phoenixville, for getting me set up.
...out on the FROZEN TUNDRA.
I'll wait for the first deep fall of snow. The first snowy Friday or Saturday night, we'll show The Thing in glowing, rich, lifelike color; widescreen -- somewhere in the middle of a remote snowfield, and you'll need to walk across the snowy tundra to get there. JUST LIKE KURT RUSSELL.
This Showing Counts as a MacGuffin Find!
If you brave the cold, the snowy walk, and the xenomorphic monsters to come to this GDI showing, you'll be issued your Official Guerilla Drive-In Member Number on the spot. Tell your friends! This is your chance to get your GDI Member Number without having to decipher thinly-veiled hints about hot-dog stands (though where I'll hide the MacGuffin next year, I don't know yet.)
Map and Directions
We'll be showing The Thing on the frozen tundra, next to the cold, wintry Brandywine river. We'll be taking over the riverside tent sites of the
KOA West Chester Campground, which you may remember if you've ever canoed down the river (it's the nice, flat field right before you have to carry your canoe over the mini-dam.)
It's all road driving until the last 200 yards or so down the hill, but I wouldn't describe this as a four-star slog. Just dress WARM, for God's sake:
- Coordinates:
- Latitude: Lat: 39.928135' N
- Longitude: 75.735756' W
- Google Maps: Link to Google Maps
What to Bring
- WARM clothes. I'm not sure just how much clothing you need to stay warm outside in the snow while sitting still for 90 minutes, but I'm pretty sure it's pretty close to everything you own.
- Chairs, hand-warmers, thermoses of coffee.
- A flashlight and/or camp lantern.
Wheelchair access: Yes! The gravel hill down to the campsite is pretty steep, but there's the river at the bottom to soften your ride. :) Should be no problem.
Dogs: Of course! Huskies with taut, intense expressions especially welcome.
Bathrooms: Yes, there will be a bathroom (probably unheated) on site.
Kids: No kids. Dear God, I hate to think what would have happened to me if I'd seen this movie when it came out. Just to be clear: definitely, definitely,
definitely not a kids' movie. A great date film, though!
